Coneheads

I recently went to depths I’ve never been to before… my ear drums. Yep, I tried ear coning for the first time. We’ve been talking about doing it for ages and I finally found someone who offers the service. I didn’t know what to expect as she works from home and I wondered if she would answer the door in a cloud of incense and head-to-toe dreadlocks and tie-dye. Turns out she was totally normal and the grandmother of a mutual acquaintance. This made me feel better as now I had a way of tracking her down if she burnt my ear off. I went first so I couldn’t see what was happening, but it was completely painless and relatively relaxing. It wasn’t until I rolled over to have the other ear done that I shockingly laid eyes on my fly guy with a burning taper candle sticking out of his ear. He looked like a human birthday cake as he sang “Happy birthday to me.” What was amazing was what came out of our ears… I don’t blame you for thinking this is gross, but it was actually really cool. A little wax as you might expect, but a ton of powder that was apparently yeast. I asked what caused this and was told a diet high in bread, diary, wine and beer. Yep, that pretty much sums us up. Will I be changing my diet for the sake of my ears… nope. Will I have my ears coned again… you bet your beeswax!